SelwynDuke.com

The Debate: Obama’s Affirmative-action Performance

By Selwyn Duke

Hey, just blame it on Bush.

The consensus on the presidential debate last night is that Barack Obama could resurrect the Choom Gang and star in a remake of Dazed and Confused. Conservative pundits are all aflutter with praise and liberals are all on Twitter with groans. Andrew Sullivan wrote, “Obama looked tired, even bored; he kept looking down; he had no crisp statements of passion or argument; he wasn't there.” A very upset Michael Moore tweeted, “This is what happens when u pick John Kerry as your debate coach.” And million-dollar-donor Bill Maher chimed in, “Obama made a lot of great points tonight. Unfortunately, most of them were for Romney.” Well, don’t feel too bad, guys. At least he did slightly better than when he debated Clint Eastwood.

Chris Matthews, clearly perturbed that he’s lost that tingling feelin’, asked, “Where was Obama tonight? … What was he doing…?” Chris, he was doing what he always does: nothing well. It’s just that you’ve finally noticed.

And now, after the Denver dose of reality, can we finally put to bed the myth of Obama the intellectually gifted? Yeah, I know, after eight years of a media narrative about Bush the cranially compromised, it was easy to say that, hey, now we’re getting the smart guy. As Joe Biden put it, “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." Or, at least, that’s the story by the book — of cultural affirmative action (CAA).

Read the rest here.

Hokumhontas Warren's Stupid Horse Moment

By Selwyn Duke

Many critics have called Massachusetts Senate hopeful Elizabeth Warren a "racist" for relating a family story about how her grandfather had "high cheekbones like all Indians do."  But they're wrong.  The comment wasn't "racist."

It was stupid.

In fact, it was childishly stupid.  Really, it reminds one of the copout Bill Clinton disgorged when addressing his marijuana use: "I tried it, but I didn't inhale."  And it should come as no surprise, either — leftists are childish.

In Praise of a Do-nothing Congress

By Selwyn Duke

Here's a question: how can we expect to have small government if we condemn Congress for not growing it?

It's always a disturbing experience when you're accosted with a picture of Harry Reid, as I was upon logging on to Drudge last Monday afternoon.  But at least his image bore a fitting caption: "MOST FUTILE EVER."  I then clicked the link and found myself at The Washington Times – normally a quite sane organ of the media – and learned the meaning of the caption: the Times was lamenting a do-nothing Congress and presented Reid as its poster boy.  Writes the paper, "It's official: Congress ended its least-productive year in modern history after passing 80 bills – fewer than during any other session since year-end records began being kept in 1947."  

Writes Duke, "It's official: conservatives are completely confused about what begets big government."

Upset about Big Brother's ban on incandescent bulbs? Buy a heatball!

This is just too good.

Many of you know that the federal ban on conventional incandescent light bulbs recently went into effect. And while House Republicans included a provision in a recent spending bill that will block funding for the ban's enforcement, it's said that it will have little effect; manufacturers have prepared for the new standards and will no doubt abide by the law. So does this mean we'll be forced to buy more expensive LED (light emitting diode) or CFL (compact fluorescent light) bulbs, the latter being those squiggly things said to be loaded with mercury? Not if we follow the lead of German businessman Siegfried Rotthaeuser.

Obama's Teleprompter Joins the Occupy Wall Street Movement

This Is the Article That Will Never be Published

By Selwyn Duke

As you may know, the world will end today at 6 p.m.

Or, that’s the prediction at least by 89-year-old California preacher Harold Camping.

Camping had forecast the Earth’s demise before, in 1994, and thus joined a list of errant end-of-worlders that goes back to biblical times and beyond.

Of course, whether you believe in the End Times in the Christian sense or not, you probably know that one of these days Camping, or one of his doomsayer descendants, will likely be right. The collision of two collapsed stars a thousand light years away could yield gamma-ray bursts that would irradiate the Earth into oblivion, and if a “rogue” black hole, which roams about, happened our way, it would act as a big vacuum cleaner/trash compactor that would suck us in and never spit us out. For a slightly more mundane end, our Sun will eventually become a supernova and incinerate us in the blink of an eye. And, even if we should escape this fate by venturing out into space, we’re told that the Universe, which is now expanding, will reverse that process and start contractions that result not in birth, but death.

Read the rest here.

Stinking in America: Is Not Washing the New PC Trend?

By Selwyn Duke

People such as me are often accused of wanting to return to the 19th century. But, if the New York Times is right about a new trend, some on the Left want to go back to the Middle Ages. What is that trend? Avoiding soap, deodorant, and even bathing regularly. Today, though, it’s often for environmental reasons.

It seems that top-notch Western hygiene has now joined SUVs, Wal-Mart, tobacco (not the wacky kind — it’s in fashion), guns, McDonald’s, and white males in the Museum of Politically Incorrect Persons, Places, and Things.

For example, Guardian writer Kira Cochrane tells us about 51-year-old environmentalist Donnachadh McCarthy, who boasts that he’s gotten his water consumption down to about “20 litres a day,” that he’s “as clean as everyone else,” and that he’s trying to reduce his “carbon footprint.”

If I were Donnachadh, I’d be more concerned about my stink footprint.

Read the rest here.

If You’re Not Reading This Article, Please Don’t Vote

By Selwyn Duke

It has become apparent that most Americans simply don’t take voting very seriously.  This is especially true of those who encourage voting.  They’ll tell us that walking into a polling place and pulling a lever is our civic duty, but this isn’t true.  Our civic duty is to cultivate wisdom in ourselves and become conversant with the issues; the walking and pulling part is just a natural by-product of that.

How Liberals Reason

This video speaks for itself.  Give it a gander; I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Hat tip: Walt Holton

Change You Can Believe In: From Bushisms to Obamanisms

By Selwyn Duke

Shortly after Barack Obama was elected, one of his supporters, alluding to George W. Bush’s supposedly lacking intellect, said to me, “I’m just happy to have someone intelligent in the White House.”

I’m sure Rahm Emanuel would be very flattered.

Whatever you think of Bush, admittedly, his habitually knotted tongue did give birth to Bushisms, things such as “misunderestimated.” Cute. Then there are the “Yogiisms” of former baseball player and manager Yogi Berra, pronouncements such as “I think I made the wrong mistake,” which in a sense makes sense (you can get away with some mistakes, but the fatal one will do you in). Now I’m here to tell you that Barack Obama is giving us some new "-isms," and I don’t speak of communism or even socialism. I mean the Obamanism.

Read the rest here.